Author Topic: Share a joke...  (Read 34717 times)

Offline PolynAzn

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Re: Share a joke...
« Reply #45 on: September 21, 2011, 10:37:38 pm »
What's black and sleeps with my daughter?

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kinda ironic coming from ixlone though :S
I stole something from Halo.... Guess what it is 3:D

Offline ixlone

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Re: Share a joke...
« Reply #46 on: September 29, 2011, 01:35:37 am »
My teenage daughter came home in a rage. "I've just done sex education in school today, Dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!"

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Offline Nymphetamine2791

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Re: Share a joke...
« Reply #47 on: September 29, 2011, 06:04:54 am »
My teenage daughter came home in a rage. "I've just done sex education in school today, Dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!"

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Lol, saw that one coming XD.


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Offline ixlone

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Re: Share a joke...
« Reply #48 on: November 07, 2011, 11:33:35 pm »
I saw a fat bird down the pub, her T-shirt said - Watch out, I'm a maneater!

I went up to her and said "Excuse me love, about your T-shirt slogan."

She stopped me and angrily said "Oh let me guess, you want to know how many men I've eaten?! Well I can't help my size you know!"

I said "Actually no, I wasn't going to say that at all."

She looked happier and smiled as she said "Oh yes, what did you want to say then?."

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Offline ixlone

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Re: Share a joke...
« Reply #49 on: January 17, 2012, 05:20:28 am »
My missus dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled, "You're being charged for being good in bed..."

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Offline Nymphetamine2791

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Re: Share a joke...
« Reply #50 on: January 18, 2012, 04:02:47 am »
Lol, ouch


"There isn't a single guy who doesn't want to spoil his girl."
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Offline Hanover Fist

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Re: Share a joke...
« Reply #51 on: January 18, 2012, 07:55:29 am »
   The heaviest element known was recently discovered by Boeing physicists. Tentatively named Administratium, it has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of energy-like bodies called morons.
   Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium caused one reaction to take more than four months to complete, when it would normally have occurred overnight. Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which the assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Studies have shown that the atomic mass oddly increases after each reorganization. Administratium seems to occur naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate in certain geographic locations such as California, Massachusetts, Texas, and the District of Columbia. Other countries have large natural deposits also.
   Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic in any concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction. Attempts are being made to determine how Administratium can be controlled.

Offline Irie Naoki

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Re: Share a joke...
« Reply #52 on: January 18, 2012, 05:26:55 pm »
Here's a joke....




SOPA

Offline Hanover Fist

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Re: Share a joke...
« Reply #53 on: January 18, 2012, 07:37:27 pm »
THE PLAN

In the beginning was The Plan
And then came the Assumptions,
And the Assumptions were without form
And The Plan was completely without substance in the void.
And darkness fell across the face of the Workers.
And they spoke amongst themselves, saying
“It is a Crock of Shit, and IT STINKETH!”
And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and sayeth:
“It is a Container of Fecal Coliforms, and it is Very Strong such that None can Abide It.”
And the Supervisors went unto the Managers and sayeth:
“It is a Vessel of Fertilizer, and None can Abide It’s Strength.”
And the Managers spoke amongst themselves and sayeth:
“It contains that which Aids Plant Growth, and is Very Strong.”
And the Managers went unto the Owners, and sayeth to them:
“It Promotes Growth and is Very Powerful.”
And the Owners went unto the rest of the Board, and sayeth unto them:
“This new Plan will Actively Promote the Growth and efficiency of this Company,
and Certain Areas in Particular.”
And the Board looked upon the Plan and saw that It was Good.
And the Plan became Policy.
And this is how Shit Happens.

Offline Nymphetamine2791

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Re: Share a joke...
« Reply #54 on: March 24, 2012, 08:05:06 pm »
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"There isn't a single guy who doesn't want to spoil his girl."
--Amagami SS

Offline Krozam

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Re: Share a joke...
« Reply #55 on: August 14, 2012, 02:34:16 pm »
Time to revive an old topic!

I read a very amusing column today, just had to translate it. I posted it on Pastebin:

http://pastebin.com/afThk9za

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The Wings of Hall RPG - Do join in the fun!

Offline Sumguy

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Re: Share a joke...
« Reply #56 on: June 04, 2013, 09:36:50 pm »