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PolynAzn:

--- Quote from: ixlone on September 20, 2011, 01:47:09 pm ---What's black and sleeps with my daughter?

(click to show/hide)Nothing, because I'm a good father.
--- End quote ---

kinda ironic coming from ixlone though :S

ixlone:
My teenage daughter came home in a rage. "I've just done sex education in school today, Dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!"

(click to show/hide)I put down my paper: "Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."

Nymphetamine2791:

--- Quote from: ixlone on September 29, 2011, 01:35:37 am ---My teenage daughter came home in a rage. "I've just done sex education in school today, Dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!"

(click to show/hide)I put down my paper: "Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."
--- End quote ---

Lol, saw that one coming XD.

ixlone:
I saw a fat bird down the pub, her T-shirt said - Watch out, I'm a maneater!

I went up to her and said "Excuse me love, about your T-shirt slogan."

She stopped me and angrily said "Oh let me guess, you want to know how many men I've eaten?! Well I can't help my size you know!"

I said "Actually no, I wasn't going to say that at all."

She looked happier and smiled as she said "Oh yes, what did you want to say then?."

(click to show/hide)"That's not how you spell Manatee."

ixlone:
My missus dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled, "You're being charged for being good in bed..."

(click to show/hide)After 2 minutes she said she was dropping the charge due to lack of evidence.

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