The heaviest element known was recently discovered by Boeing physicists. Tentatively named Administratium, it has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of energy-like bodies called morons.
Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium caused one reaction to take more than four months to complete, when it would normally have occurred overnight. Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which the assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Studies have shown that the atomic mass oddly increases after each reorganization. Administratium seems to occur naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate in certain geographic locations such as California, Massachusetts, Texas, and the District of Columbia. Other countries have large natural deposits also.
Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic in any concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction. Attempts are being made to determine how Administratium can be controlled.
